I'm going to be completely honest and say that I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing by dating the guy that I am. People have told me that I need to let him fight for me, that I need to not take the lead. But honestly? I know no other way to love someone than with my whole heart in an extravagant manner. So telling me I should back off is not ever going to work. 

Drunk on what?

I've known for a long time that I do not enjoy being drunk. I don't like being drunk on wine, beer, spirits or emotions. I had to add that last one because today I realised that I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life during periods of emotional drunkeness. 


I've been drunk on rage and hurt those close to me, being drunk on infatuation has caused the stalker in me to reveal herself, too much grief has lead me to depression and self harm, happiness has caused silliness and drinking in the loneliness has resulted in some of the stupidest decisions I've ever made.


I realise that 'emotions' are all part of this human experience. That being a girl puts me at a bigger disadvantage. But I'm determined. No more (or at least less) emotional drunkeness for this 27 year old. Let's settle this roller coaster down without dimming the colours. 

Growing up

I'm grown up because:

1. I wash my own linen and no one is there telling me to do it. I also buy my own linen. The first time I purchased towels I felt extraordinarily like an adult. It was intense.
2. I buy take away coffee. Walking out of the shop with a cup of coffee always makes me feel grown up since little kids don't (or at least shouldn't) drink coffee and secondly getting it to take away makes the statement that you've got more important or interesting places to be.
3. I have no idea about what music is making to top 40 count down. Often I'll hear of a song a long time after everyone else has heard and loved it. In my teenage years I thought knowing the top 40 made me cool. These days I don't run after fads, instead I look for what I like 
4. I throw dinner parties. 
5. I clean out the fridge.
6. And lastly...I've applied to go to uni. Not because it's expected but because I want to. I've found an area that I want to excel in and I'm going to. And now I get to wait while someone else decides which uni I get into. I may be grown up but this feels a lot like high school again. EEEP.

Longboarding at Sunset

I can't get this song out of my head

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YXVMCHG-Nk

Uninvited

You left behind a partial footprint and that makes me mad cause that's all you left. No fingerprints on the window pane, or on the screen that you pulled out. Just a partial footprint.
You came into my house and you left all the lights on and the doors open. You let the dog out and took the beer I brought for someone else months ago.
And all you left was a partial footprint on my window sill.
I don't think that was very nice of you. What I would like from you now is that you return the laptop, replace the beer and say sorry. It's really not much to ask considering you came into my house without asking.

These are a few of my favourite things...

Trees inspired by Dr Suess

Deep frying things to deal with problems

Hanging out with this wonderful two year old

Shopping with these sisters

Zoidy the explorer cat

A curious friend