Honestly

I just don't want to do this on my own anymore.
I don't know if we can be friends if this doesn't work out the way my heart hoped it would.
I don't know if I could survive without your friendship. It's come to mean so much to me. You've broken in and created a space for yourself that no one else ever has. You've crossed walls and boundaries and you became comfortable. I don't know how to live without that comfort now.
I want to move on from this meandering phase I'm in. It feels like I've been here forever.
I want stability.
I want a life of chasing dreams and rainbows and thunderclouds and adventures.
I want to talk to you. Now.
I don't ever want to have to lose you.
I don't want to walk away.
I don't want to leave you behind.
I don't want to hurt like this anymore.
I want to know what to do next, what the right thing to do is.